What I would have told you.

Be kind. To people. To animals. To the earth.

Sometimes it will be hard to be kind. And sometimes being kind will be counter-productive. At those times, try your best to be wise with it. Being tough can feel a bit too good, and you can get carried away. Only be tough when you have no other choice, and do not take that choice lightly.

Eat well. Stay away from sugar. Try and exercise at least three times a week. No one ever taught me any of those things, and look how I turned out.

I am your mother. It is my job to be the best mother I can be. Sometimes that means I will have to say no to you doing things that I know are bad for you. It's not because I hate you. It's because I love you. Please don't be angry at me for too long.

Talk to me. I really want to know about your life. Tell me your problems, even if you think they are small. I had lots of problems when I was young, and no one to talk to about them. I made some stupid decisions because of it. I hope that I can help you make the right decisions for you. I know stuff now because I found out the hard way. You might be surprised to find out exactly what I do know about. Try me.

I hope you don't hate school. If you do, please tell me. I'm pretty sure school has changed since I was a kid, but it might not have. I want you to learn, but I know you can't learn in an environment that isn't supportive. If you're failing at school, it might not be you. It might actually be them. If we talk about it we can try and fix it. I promise I will listen.

I don't lie, not about the important stuff. Neither should you. If you think the truth will get you in trouble or make you unpopular, tell it anyway. I can't promise that I wont be angry, but I will respect you.

I only get angry with people who I expect a lot of. Congratulations!

Let me help you have nice hair. I spent years not having nice hair when all the elements for nice hair were there. It's a personal regret which I would hate for you to have to share.

Drugs are bad. Full stop. Drugs are addictive, and they can change you forever. Drugs can change your brain chemistry irreparably. Which means they can change you; who you are. The essence of you. That's not cool. That's weird and regretful. You can have fun without them. Really honestly you can. And if you think you have a better time on them, then I feel sorry for you. There is so much more to life than achieving a momentary chemically induced altered state of mind which may or may not kill you.

You will get drunk. I know this. I still do, too. But you must not drink and drive. At best you will end up killing yourself. It's the other people who you might kill that I give a damn about, and so should you.

Don't be in a hurry to have sex. Seriously. It's great and all, but you know what? It's the best when you actually love and care about the person you are having sex with. At 14 you might think you are in love, but that's just your hormones talking. Keep your pants on for another 4 years at least. Longer if you can. You will have more respect for yourself and others if you do. And if you are unpopular because you are not having sex, get some new friends. These ones pressuring you into having sex are wankers. You might think you like them, but they clearly don't like you. Not if they are trying to make you do something so stupid.

If you must have sex, use a condom. And the pill. And a spermicide.

It's really best that you don't have sex, OK?

OK, if you're going to have sex, at least tell me you're having sex so that I can help you make the right choices. I promise I wont be all weird about it. I will not throw you out of home. I will not punish you. Unless you're 12 and having sex. In which case, I'm going to get the shotgun. I am not sure if I am going to shoot you, or the person you have been having sex with. Whoever is closest when I've got it loaded, I guess.